Well, we are looking straight in the eyes of the end of 2020- Thank goodness! Everyone is probably sick of hearing how awful this year has been. I mean, it has been terrible. People have been robbed of their livelihoods, stripped of social interaction, and, through lack of social engagement, forced to look within themselves at some maybe pretty scary things #traumahealing
Admittedly, I have been on the lucky side this year. I was fortunate enough to keep my job, and surprisingly (even after working from home in a 454 square foot condo) my husband and I are still enjoying each other’s company. We’re expecting a baby in about a week, and we’re in the process of moving (should you move when you’re 9 months pregnant??). All in all, I really shouldn’t complain- so I won’t. In fact, I’ve found that one of the things that have really helped me to get through this year with relatively good mental health has been to stop complaining and to start looking for those silver linings. In this post, I’ll talk about 4 things I learned about toughening up my mental strength.
1. Count your blessings
I was speaking to a friend not too long ago about my move and what an organized mess it will be (Our closing dates couldn’t line up, we’ll give birth while living in an Air BNB lol) and how even through all of this craziness, I don’t think I’ve ever felt more zen. Her reply was “well it’s happening, so you know you have to just go with it”. These words are so important. It is a very Jesus-take-the-wheel type of situation. When I look at the blessings in front of me versus the clusterf*ck, it gives me (and my partner) the strength to organize the situation so it’s a relatively low lift. We sold our condo in a pandemic after 70 showings and 3 months on the market (Blessing). We were able to purchase a place (after a bidding war) within budget and in a location that was important to us (Blessing). Hubs booked the movers, the storage for our belongings while we’re in the Air BNB, got us boxes for our move, and started packing (he is my biggest blessing), AND we will shave off 10 minutes drive time to the hospital I am delivering at (Blessing!). Our privilege doesn’t go unnoticed, we are super fortunate to be able to afford movers, storage, and an Air BNB during this time, and family has also opened their doors and their garages for us to store our belongings (Blessings on blessings).
This shift in mentality has been profound in exercising my mental strength. It is easy to see the bad, but work to search for the good. After looking around at this situation, I feel a great sense of gratitude and a strong appreciation for our support network whom we haven’t been able to see as much as we wished to throughout this year.
2. Make a schedule and stick to it
Cliche, I know. Though this is way up on the list for building my mental strength. When you tell yourself you are going to do something, and then you do it, it’s showing up for yourself, letting you know you can count on you. I feel everyone is in a relationship with themself, and unfortunately, some relationships are toxic. I’ve been there and I understand. But when you accomplish little things every day, they amount to big things over weeks, months, and years. When you realize you can count on yourself, that you are completely self-sufficient, it is the most relieving and peaceful feeling. By making your schedule into habits, it just gets easier and easier to get things done. Show up for yourself!
3. Journal and read it monthly
Admittedly, I am working on this. I used to be much better at it, and it’s unfortunate because I truly enjoy looking back and reading what I wrote! It was great to see what was progressing in my life, what I was worried about, and what I had accomplished. This year, I hardly journaled and I mean come on if I should have journaled this was the year to do it.
What was useful for me to see, however, (when I was far more consistent), was the way I spoke to myself. I was pretty mean! And for sure, we could all use a stern conversation with ourselves every once in a while about our priorities and what we want to come to fruition in our future, but some of the things I said were harsh. Over time, instead of saying things like “the only person you’re letting down is yourself” I’d change it to “remember what you told yourself you would accomplish this year, do you still want those things? How can you get there?” This change in mentality puts the power back in your hands, and it’s a little motivational pep talk! Sometimes I think, actually, that’s not a priority to me anymore, and that’s ok! Things change, update your goals, but keep a journal, they’re your thoughts, your personal therapy, and your mental strength on paper.
I love to re-read my journal on the first weekend of the month and update my goals. It’s one of the best feelings once you’re done. A person with a plan is hard to stop!
4. Stretch/yoga or just move your body
Have you noticed that when you’re exhausted it’s easier to give in to cravings, sit on the couch, scroll on your phone, and just kind of exist without really living? When you exercise, you sleep better, have more energy, feel more positive, and it contributes to higher self-esteem! This is because exercise can increase levels of serotonin, dopamine, and norepinephrine in the brain. With all of those benefits, will power and showing up for yourself happen with much less effort. The body and mind are connected, poor physical health can lead to poor mental health and vise versa. When you exercise, you also have increased mental clarity, allowing you to manuver throughout your day more easily.
It should be noted that you don’t have to exercise for long periods of time to feel the benefits of it. 15 minutes of increased heart rate will get you well on your way.
What have you been doing to strengthen your mental health or mentality throughout the pandemic? Let me know in the comments!