Reflecting on being a first-time mom on Mother’s Day.
Childbirth is hard. I don’t think too many will argue that. But what is harder? The first few weeks as a new mom. Like, what just happened? After giving birth you’re depleted physically and emotionally, you likely have a ton of healing to do, and then bam! You have this baby who you need to feed countless times a night leading to disjointed sleep. It’s like you’re running a marathon after just running a marathon. And yet, you’re elated by this tiny potato you helped create, who depends on you for everything, who knows your heartbeat, your voice, and your smell. It’s such a whirlwind of emotions.
I can only speak for myself and my experience, but even with the MOST attentive and helpful hubs (like seriously), the first month and a half were really hard. I think a big part of the challenge was healing from my C-section, both physically and emotionally. Research says that nine percent of women experience postpartum stress disorder after childbirth. I think that’s probably on the low end. And I would definitely add myself to that percentage. All I know is I couldn’t talk about my labour for 8 weeks after it without bursting into tears. But you know what? That 9th week, I felt like a new person. Everyone who dm’d me and said it gets better was absolutely right. It amazes me how many mamas were validating how crazy hard and foggy those first few weeks were, but they all said it gets easier, and I’m so happy it did because being a mama to little Jujee has been the greatest gift of my life. And now, with pain and sleep deprivation behind me, I’m really and truly enjoying it!
Walking into my first Mother’s Day I feel a sense of calm (experienced mama’s roll their eyes bc they know my future :D), but there is a pretty zen feeling I have within. Like I’m doing what I’m supposed to be doing, I’m learning what is best for my family and myself, and that I’m stronger than I think. Luckily, I’ve also found a few social media accounts that have provided support and helped point me in the direction of the type of mama I want to be.
I think it’s important to note that having hubs home from work to help has been immensely helpful. Yesterday we were talking about how different our experience would have been if he was working in the office. He’d be getting home at 7, we would rush to have dinner and likely have to go to sleep at separate times. Me, earlier to survive lol, him, later to finish odds and ends. Right now we are both in bed by 8, we read to baby juje, feed him one last time, and put him down for 9:30. Then we snuggle and say what we are grateful for over the sound of the white noise machine lol.
Walking into my first Mother’s Day I think about all of the other news mamas out there who have gone through this pandemic, who may have had to return to work earlier than expected to make ends meet, who were deprived help from family and friends to keep their family safe, or who unfortunately may not have gotten to meet their babies on the Earth side, and my heart hurts. As if this wasn’t hard enough. New mamas, experienced mamas, angel mamas I’m thinking about you on this Mother’s Day, I’m hoping things get easier and you find your groove, and I’m hoping your families acknowledge and spoil you today and all days.
Sending love and light your way!
Lisa